Last week I spent 4 days in New Orleans on Borders dime. I helped set up the stores tent for Jazz Fest during the day and at night we spent our time experiencing the food, culture, and the shark infested night life. I didn't manage many photos, but I did take enough to prove that I was there. Hopefully I'll be going back in about a month with Kyle and Eileen (and possibly a few other people). Maybe to make up some of the lost photos and daylight in the French Quarter.




Over a bayou.On my way to New Orleans. After I missed my first flight because of being held up in security, I managed to score a stand-by with a window seat.



Outside of The Louisiana Pizza Kitchen in the French Market.



Adjusting to the light in the French Quarter.





Our waiter here was drunk. I found it endearing, others offensive.

Angelina Jolie popped in for a laundry list of children's books today (she shops bargin). Her signature is awful, she drinks decaf lattes (pregnant) and has a very sweet disposition. I managed to get a pic of her on the security camera. Which I can't post. They're living in town at the moment while Brad Pitt shoots a film locally.



She's one of the few stars that I can't speak of without feeling a little tingly.



Other sitings at my store:

Lizard Man (is a regular)


A few people from Friday Night Lights.


and this tool.




There have been a few more of little consequence.

I'm going to New Orleans in the end of April, for work, to sell CDs at a Jazz Festival. Paid airfare, hotel and food.

Word. I love my job.

Check out the amazing music that's gonna be there!

http://www.nojazzfest.com/

I'm in my living room reading my latest obsession (Perfume The Story Of A Murderer By Patrick Suskind) I'm listening to the live set of at least three bands playing at three different places around my apartment. SXSW is throwing her head back tonight in orgasm. The city is brimming over with music and people from all over the world. It's 69 degrees outside (the follow up to a high 70s breezy Saturday). My legs are sore from work, a full afternoon of mid-shift proves worth it in spades however. Flashers (of the rear end persuasion), conspiracy theorists (well one...Russians are taking over America because they killed all of the Germans in Iraq. Oh, and something about submarines with lasers), a very black man with a rotted out nub of a tooth explaining his extremely erratic (albeit friendly) behavior was the result of some mind altering experience. He claimed to be an Irish gangster (all of the proof I needed was his impression of one), giving me hand slaps every so often because I was so "witty and dry" (crispy, sharp as he emphasized.) I found him pretty amusing myself. I was the bearer of auditory witness to a really nasty car accident on the freeway next to my store (EMT response time: Less than two cigarettes) I hope everyone walked away from that one OK. Two Cold Brewed Marble Mochas served as the energy source for my almost busy disposition. Not so busy though, that we couldn't fuck around a little and laugh a lot. I'm sure  I'm missing  a  lot, fuck it I'm tired.

Sigh. This is my favorite weekend of the year. 

It's 91 degrees outside.

Jealous?

I found this on http://slackermoney.com/?p=71

We all know speeding tickets are a pain in our collective asses, and they usually end up costing quite a bit of money (which we all know money saved is almost as good as money earned), so I thought I would go into the technical aspects of how to get out of a speeding ticket.

Everyone has heard of the ways one can possibly get out of a ticket:

-Going to court and hoping the cop doesnt show up
-Asking the cop to show you the radar/laser in hopes he was just making a number up
-And finally, checking the FCC certification number on the radar gun to make sure it is a) certified, and b) calibrated. If it isn’t, there is a good chance you can argue in court that the radar gun is wrong.

However, the not often spoke of way to beat a ticket is to get technical on the court and make them show YOU that they are abiding by the law.

First lets take a look at how speed limits are decided.

When states wish to determine a speed limit, they must do so under the guidelines of the Federal Manual on Uniform Traffic Control Devices . This manual outlines the requirements for speed limit and other traffic control signs and lights.

The section of this manual that we want to pay particular attention to is Section 2b.13. The very first sentence in this section is the key: ” After an engineering study has been made in accordance with established traffic engineering practice”.

Now, typically an engineering traffic study is done on a certain stretch of road, and they use the 85th percentile as the number. For those mathematically challenged, they gauge the speed that 85% of the motorists are driving as their starting number. Most localities will reduce that number by 5 or 10mph so that their local PD can write revenue raising tickets (I wont get into the Constitutionality of such an act).

The next paragraph we want to look at is the 2nd one:

” At least once every 5 years, States and local agencies should reevaluate non-statutory speed limits on segments of their roadways that have undergone a significant change in roadway characteristics or surrounding land use since the last review.”

Ok, that helps your case too. Now, how to beat the ticket:

If you get pulled over always be respectful and polite to the cop for 2 reasons:

1. You may get off with a warning, thereby saving you a trip to court.

2. Given the number of people getting tasered lately, ya never know, you could be the next

If you cant weasel your way out of a ticket, and are forced to go to court, do so with knowledge on your side. First, contact your local Dept. of Transportation office and request a copy of the Traffic Engineering Study for the road you received your ticket on. You may luck out right there, as a large number of roads in this nation have never had a TES study done on them!! Most localities just pick a number and stick with it.

If you run into the unfortunate circumstance of actually getting a ticket on a road that has had a TES study done on it, make sure to request the as-mandated- 5 year update. If no updates were done, and the TES was done more than 5 years ago, you can argue that the speed limit is no longer valid, and the state wouldnt have anyway to justify that it was.

Now, for the disclaimer:

This argument has been used successfully, but given the proclivity of the courts to cover their own asses, you may not win. In most jurisdictions, courts receive a portion of the revenue generated by traffic citations. Therefore, even if you know you are right, you may end up paying, because some judges simply wont allow their budget to be reduced by a citizen who actually knows the law. Good luck.

I was on break today. Sitting outside reading a book, drinking a cup of coffee. I had about 10 minutes left, when I went to take the last sip of my coffee I felt something sting my tongue. I immediately spit it out, making a semi-huge scene in front of customers. I frantically looked around and couldn't find the culprit. My guess was a bee of some sort. My tongue instantly swelled and I ran in to call Kyle to bring me to the hospital (being Texas and all I figured I react on the precautionary side of things). By the time I reached the hospital my face was really swollen. Especially my jaw line strangely enough. They gave me a bunch of meds, watched me for an hour and sent me on my way. I still feel a stinging sensation on the tip of my tongue and the swelling hasn't gone away completely yet. And to think I was having a good day. Pfft what are the odds?  

        Our Christmas marketing mascot is a polar bear named Marshmallow. With recent outcries to save them from extinction, and the holiday release of the movie The Golden Compass (a massive best seller and cause for religious controversy) polar bears seem to be at a minimum in most Americans peripheral this season. Which makes the choice a seemingly good move for my Fortune 500 employer. Over the last month we've been inundated by the unnaturally family friendly character. End caps, promotional stands, moving displays, bookmarks (with a donation to First Book), wrapping paper and let us not forget, a stuffed version strategically placed in our impulse buy checkout corral. With a display low enough for children to grab. Hip high for touchy consumers to run their fingers through while they're standing under the 5 minutes from this point sign. Drunk on Christmas spirit, who can resist the friendly price tag of $8.99 (with a $30 purchase)? Most people apparently. With the less than desirable product movement, my co-workers and I have all had it up to our ears with the shedding synthetic fibers, making our eyes water and our noses itch. It's time to get serious about getting him sold out, out onto whiny runts, spoiling (or worse broken) parents, and women that still use baby voices at the sight of such a thing. Our solution, forced interaction, we're keeping one at each register.
        For the duration of my shift I saw one sell. Despite the minimal success of our tactic, I did get a good bit of entertainment as a direct result of Marshmallow's unmissable presence. An old man, much more round than tall, sporting a baseball cap and overalls approached my register to buy a local map. I ran through my every customer sales script to reach the end of the transaction with nothing special to speak of. As he started to walk away, he pointed at Marshmallow and said, "Polar bears used to tear through our trash." Willing to at anytime engage a customer with a story, I shifted my body toward him, widened my eyes and and gave a very toothy "Oh, yeah?" This stopped his stride toward the door. "It used to piss the Sarg off bad." He said, with a heavy country accent. "I don't mean they'd take the top off and dig through the trash, I mean they'd tear those cans apart. Ripped the bottom right off of one! Thing should have known the top would come right off, might have been easier than going through the bottom." He laughed a little and I humored him with a giggle. Trying to determine whether or not I was enjoying the rants of another south Austin crazy I asked, "Where are you from?" He pointed north and said, "you know where Manchacha meets Ben White over there?" Confused I defaulted to "uh huh." "Thats where I live."  "You have polar bears over there?" I asked with only a slightly detectable sarcasm. He twisted his face a little and shook his head. "Well hell naw." He said, "I'm talkin bout Greenland. I was stationed there in the Army. On a base that protected the North East  from being bombed by the Russians" To encourage him, I leaned forward and said, "Oh huh wow. What's Greenland like?" "It's cold as hell." He said, with the conviction of a man that never stopped telling his version of the war. "You know we couldn't build houses directly on the ground up there? Had to be on stilts, cause the concrete would get so cold, it'd crumble. And the ground is frozen solid, frozen for thousands of years. If they did, the heat of the house would melt the frozen ground, and we'd just sink in the mud. Hell, they build permanent tunnels from house to house made of ice, we'd just spray 'em down with a hose to keep 'em sturdy. 
       "It must be fascinating seeing a polar bear up close like that ." I said, out of desperation to keep him talking (he wasn't much of a self-propelled storyteller) "They're as big a round as a Volkswagon!." he said, as if he'd said it 1000 times before. "And jaws like this!" he explained, stretching his arms out toward me and curling his fingers to make giant teeth. " "Sounds like some experience!" I said excitedly, picturing the massive polar bear dwarfing even a man of his stature. "I wouldn't  wish that place on anyone." he went on to say. "It's not exactly the entertainment capital. The most we got was them Eskimos comin down from the village with hand carved trinkets, and dog sled rides for a dollar. Imagine that huh, they didn't even say made in China on the bottom! " He smiled again and started turning to leave, "I bet they just scratched it off."  He added, just before he walked away.
      Working in south Austin is miles (literally as well as metaphorically) away from any other part of town. Seems like even country folk manage to find themselves at our slightly out of the way location. I get at least something worth mentioning to Kyle happening every time I spend a few hours there. With little to bitch about (polar bear exception , I mean come on, who wants pseudo allergic reactions to stuffed animals anyway?) I spend my time in pursuit of something to write about. I've just finally gotten around to it. 

This is quite possibly my favorite live performance of all time.



For those of you that don't know, this is Tom Waits.

A little girl at work today, gave me an origami crane with the number 62 on it's wings.

There was no explanation.

Do you know why?

Kyle is in California for his grandfathers funeral.

This is his first.

I miss him.

A lot.

He's driving back on Sunday, in the Jeep his grandfather left him.

I'm exhausted and hoping to sleep as much of this dreaded weekend away as  I can.

Of course there's work now, from time to time.

What a pain in my self pity.










.




 

by Dana Larsen (11 Jan, 2005)

Two decades of research show that marijuana use may actually reduce driver accidents.

The effects of marijuana use on driving performance have been extensively researched over the last 20 years. All major studies show that marijuana consumption has little or no effect on driving ability, and may actually reduce accidents. Here's a summary of the biggest studies into pot use and driving.

A 1983 study by the US National Highway Transportation Safety Administration (NHTSA) concluded that the only significant affect of cannabis use was slower driving - arguably a positive effect of driving high.

A comprehensive 1992 NHTSA study revealed that pot is rarely involved in driving accidents, except when combined with alcohol. The study concluded that "the THC-only drivers had an [accident] responsibility rate below that of the drug free drivers." This study was buried for six years and not released until 1998.

A 1993 NHTSA study dosed Dutch drivers with THC and tested them on real Dutch roads. It concluded that THC caused no impairment except for a slight deficiency in the driver's ability to "maintain a steady lateral position on the road." This means that the THC-dosed drivers had a little trouble staying smack in the center of their lanes, but showed no other problems. The study noted that the effects of even high doses of THC were far less than that of alcohol or many prescription drugs. The study concluded that "THC's adverse effects on driving performance appear relatively small."

A massive 1998 study by the University of Adelaide and Transport South Australia examined blood samples from drivers involved in 2,500 accidents. It found that drivers with only cannabis in their systems were slightly less likely to cause accidents than those without. Drivers with both marijuana and alcohol did have a high accident responsibility rate. The report concluded, "there was no indication that marijuana by itself was a cause of fatal accidents."

In Canada, a 1999 University of Toronto meta-analysis of studies into pot and driving showed that drivers who consumed a moderate amount of pot typically refrained from passing cars and drove at a more consistent speed. The analysis also confirmed that marijuana taken alone does not increase a driver's risk of causing an accident.

A major study done by the UK Transport Research Laboratory in 2000 found that drivers under the influence of cannabis were more cautious and less likely to drive dangerously. The study examined the effects of marijuana use on drivers through four weeks of tests on driving simulators. The study was commissioned specifically to show that marijuana was impairing, and the British government was embarrassed with the studies conclusion that "marijuana users drive more safely under the influence of cannabis."

According to the Cannabis and Driving report, a comprehensive literature review published in 2000 by the UK Department of Transportation, "the majority of evidence suggests that cannabis use may result in a lower risk of [accident] culpability."

The Canadian Senate issued a major report into all aspects of marijuana in 2002. Their chapter on Driving under the influence of cannabis concludes that "Cannabis alone, particularly in low doses, has little effect on the skills involved in automobile driving."

The most recent study into drugs and driving was published in the July 2004 Journal of Accident Analysis and Prevention. Researchers at the Dutch Institute for Road Safety Research analyzed blood tests from those in traffic accidents, and found that even people with blood alcohol between 0.5% and 0.8% (below the legal limit) had a five-fold increase in the risk of serious accident. Drivers above the legal alcohol limit were 15 times more likely to have a collision. Drugs like Valium and Rohypnol produced results similar to alcohol, while cocaine and opiates showed only a small but "not statistically significant" increase in accident risk. As for the marijuana-only users? They showed absolutely no increased risk of accidents at all.

Crazy Cool Internet Trick!
by Justin Benton

Try this crazy cool internet trick in your browser!

Go to google images. Search whatever you want. Then copy/paste this code in your internet address bar:

javascript:R=0; x1=.1; y1=.05; x2=.25; y2=.24; x3=1.6; y3=.24; x4=300; y4=200; x5=300; y5=200; DI= document.images; DIL=DI.length; function A(){for(i=0; i<DIL; i++){DIS=DI[ i ].style; DIS.position='absolute'; DIS.left=Math.sin(R*x1+i*x2+x3)*x4+x5; DIS.top=Math.cos(R*y1+i*y2+y3)*y4+y5}R++}setInterval('A()',5 ); void(0)

Hit enter. Crazy, huh?

Hit refresh over and over to make it go faster. It also works on the main google images page, as well as many other websites if you just look around!